People often search for jokes but many times they do not find what they actually search for, but this page and even this whole blog is made to serve you with the world's best jokes with newest updates, so just relax and enjoy!
Doctor: Do get up early in the morning and exercise.. This is the best mantra mantra for long life.
Man: But see that Chicken, gets up very early morning but in the evening - finish...
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Man to Friend: I want to give my girlfriend a good gift.
Friend: Diamond Ring?
Man: Nope, something which she has never wear earlier..
Friend: Gents Underwear...
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Boyfriend playing with her girl hairs and fainted..
When he opened his eyes after s20 minutes..
He requested hi girlfriend..Please have regular bath..
---
2 women sentenced for 20 years in one imprison.
After their freedom, they come out of prison and spoke one another...
Ok bye, rest of the talks we will have on call.
---
Yesterday, I got invitation card of my Ex-Girlfriend!
Felt little pain....
Then made my mind to go...
Because love has it own place and love for food has its own...
----
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Afur
Afur who?
I fur got my joke!
----
Why are hurricanes named after women?
Because they come wet and wild and they leave with your house and your car..
---
Q. How do you make seven an even number?
A. Simple, just take the s out!
Thursday, 17 September 2015
Saturday, 22 August 2015
Jokes and Funny Lines You Can't Afford to Miss
Often, in the tight schedule of daily, we skip the laughter but it is not good. SO here we come with good jokes to be read in short time. So enjoy and spread. Hurray!
I was on the subway, sitting on a newspaper, and a guy comes over and asks ‘Are you reading that?" I didn’t know what to say. So I said yes. I stood up, turned the page, and sat down again. (David Brenner).
These impossible women! How do they get around us! The poet was right: can’t live with them, or without them! (Aristophanes)
I went to the psychiatrist, and he says "You're crazy " I tell him I want a second opinion. He says, ‘Okay, you're ugly too!" (Rodney Dangerfield)
My sister was with two men in one night. She could hardly walk after that. Can you imagine? Two dinners! (Sarah Silverman)
A comedian is sitting at the bar of a comedy club late one night when a beautiuful woman comes up to him and says "I saw you perform tonight, and you’re the funniest guy I’ve ever seen. I want to take you home and give you the hottest night you’re ever had." The comedian looks at her and says, "Did you see the first show or the second show?"
How are women and tornadoes alike?
They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave.
There was a guy who was struggling to decide what to wear to go to a fancy costume party... Then he had a bright idea. When the host answered the door, he found the guy standing there with no shirt and no socks on. "What the hell are you supposed to be?" asked the host. "A premature ejaculation," said the man. "I just came in my pants!"
I was on the subway, sitting on a newspaper, and a guy comes over and asks ‘Are you reading that?" I didn’t know what to say. So I said yes. I stood up, turned the page, and sat down again. (David Brenner).
These impossible women! How do they get around us! The poet was right: can’t live with them, or without them! (Aristophanes)
I went to the psychiatrist, and he says "You're crazy " I tell him I want a second opinion. He says, ‘Okay, you're ugly too!" (Rodney Dangerfield)
My sister was with two men in one night. She could hardly walk after that. Can you imagine? Two dinners! (Sarah Silverman)
A comedian is sitting at the bar of a comedy club late one night when a beautiuful woman comes up to him and says "I saw you perform tonight, and you’re the funniest guy I’ve ever seen. I want to take you home and give you the hottest night you’re ever had." The comedian looks at her and says, "Did you see the first show or the second show?"
How are women and tornadoes alike?
They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave.
There was a guy who was struggling to decide what to wear to go to a fancy costume party... Then he had a bright idea. When the host answered the door, he found the guy standing there with no shirt and no socks on. "What the hell are you supposed to be?" asked the host. "A premature ejaculation," said the man. "I just came in my pants!"
Friday, 7 August 2015
9 Super Light Jokes
Life is all about laughing as much as possible, but you must need a reason to have a good laugh! Don't worry, here are top 9 light hilarious funny jokes to help in doing it. Do share them further to continue the wave of fun keep surrounding the world!
1. Wife: I can fight the whole world for you!
Husband: All the the time, you keep on fighting with me!
Wife: The lovely price, you are my whole world! :)
2. Man to 2 boys: You both look good, what is your relation?
Guy: We have very far relation?
Man: How?
Guy: He is my younger brother.
Man: So how, he is very close relative..
Guy: No, there is six more brother before him!
3. You look so beautiful in your profile pic.
Girl: I am good designer.
4. Man: Wife is missing!
Officer: Are you blind. It is post office, just go to police station.
Man: Ops, sorry, I got mad due to excess happiness!
5. I never made a mistake, I think I did it once but I was wrong!
6. Man: I am not getting married:
Priest: You can not do it, there is lot of happiness written in your fate!
7. Man: How is my son in studies?
Teacher: He is great, it feels like the invention of 0 is just for him!
8. Friend: Where are you going?
Me: Just washroom to enlighten myself. It is I will not
9. Teacher: Again, you have not did your homework, tell, what punishment should I give you?
Guy: That girl has not also did it, lock us both in bathroom!
1. Wife: I can fight the whole world for you!
Husband: All the the time, you keep on fighting with me!
Wife: The lovely price, you are my whole world! :)
2. Man to 2 boys: You both look good, what is your relation?
Guy: We have very far relation?
Man: How?
Guy: He is my younger brother.
Man: So how, he is very close relative..
Guy: No, there is six more brother before him!
3. You look so beautiful in your profile pic.
Girl: I am good designer.
4. Man: Wife is missing!
Officer: Are you blind. It is post office, just go to police station.
Man: Ops, sorry, I got mad due to excess happiness!
5. I never made a mistake, I think I did it once but I was wrong!
6. Man: I am not getting married:
Priest: You can not do it, there is lot of happiness written in your fate!
7. Man: How is my son in studies?
Teacher: He is great, it feels like the invention of 0 is just for him!
8. Friend: Where are you going?
Me: Just washroom to enlighten myself. It is I will not
9. Teacher: Again, you have not did your homework, tell, what punishment should I give you?
Guy: That girl has not also did it, lock us both in bathroom!
Wednesday, 22 July 2015
Best Time Pass Jokes
We come here again with best ever time pass jokes to make sure that your smile never stops.
Here we go...
Girl: Dad, I want to share one important thing with you.
Dad: Ok, tell me.
Girl: I am in love with a guy. He lives in U.S.A.
Dad: But where you met?
Girl: We met on a dating website.. become friend through social media, he proposed me on Skype..
then we chatted a lot on messaging app..
Father: oh really. Then you both can get married on twitter... go on honeymoon on travel site, get kids through shopping site, and receive them through gmail..
And moreover.....if you further feel your decision is wrong... sell it reseller website...
Husband: Shouts and yells ay wife.. I am calling you from last one hour.. Why do not you pick the call?
Wife: I was dancing on ring tone.
One fat man reads the newspaper ans notices the advertisement of - Fat Reduce Program!
He call and girls replies: Ok.. Get ready in the morning at 5 AM.
Morning, his door bell rings and he opens the door. A pleases to see a beautiful girl which jogging suit.
The girl asks him if you want to kiss me - catch me and she runs.
The fat guy runs after her..
This happens for a week and he reduces his weight by 5.0 kgs.
He again participates in 10.0 kg weight reduce program.
The next morning very beautiful girls knocks the door and asks him if if wants a hug and kiss, catch.
Again, this goes for a week and he successfully reduces 10.0 kgs.
Now he become greedy and participates in 20.0 kgs weight reduce program.
The next morning....
The door bell gets ring and he surprise to see a huge black man was standing and shouts if I catch you - I will kiss you.
So run.............lol
Female: My lips are infected..
Doctor: How many times do you kiss?
Female: Once in a year!
Doctor: They are not infected rather they are rusted!!
World's smallest poem..
Life is big struggle...til wife is with you..
Please God,, Please intimate me 5 minute before dying that I am about to die.
Because I die without formatting my mobile.... It will be a big mess!
Wife: Suddenly gets up at 2 clock night... awakes her husband and asks:
Do you know the date of when you got your job?
Husband: yes, 8th April 2004
Wife: And your best friend's marriage date?
Husband: yes, 12th September 2009
Wife: Our new neighbor's age in our society?
Husband: 4 months
And you sister engagement date?
30gth July
But why are you asking this in mid of night? husband asks angrily..
Wife: Today is my birthday....
A ong silence.....
Here we go...
Girl: Dad, I want to share one important thing with you.
Dad: Ok, tell me.
Girl: I am in love with a guy. He lives in U.S.A.
Dad: But where you met?
Girl: We met on a dating website.. become friend through social media, he proposed me on Skype..
then we chatted a lot on messaging app..
Father: oh really. Then you both can get married on twitter... go on honeymoon on travel site, get kids through shopping site, and receive them through gmail..
And moreover.....if you further feel your decision is wrong... sell it reseller website...
Husband: Shouts and yells ay wife.. I am calling you from last one hour.. Why do not you pick the call?
Wife: I was dancing on ring tone.
One fat man reads the newspaper ans notices the advertisement of - Fat Reduce Program!
He call and girls replies: Ok.. Get ready in the morning at 5 AM.
Morning, his door bell rings and he opens the door. A pleases to see a beautiful girl which jogging suit.
The girl asks him if you want to kiss me - catch me and she runs.
The fat guy runs after her..
This happens for a week and he reduces his weight by 5.0 kgs.
He again participates in 10.0 kg weight reduce program.
The next morning very beautiful girls knocks the door and asks him if if wants a hug and kiss, catch.
Again, this goes for a week and he successfully reduces 10.0 kgs.
Now he become greedy and participates in 20.0 kgs weight reduce program.
The next morning....
The door bell gets ring and he surprise to see a huge black man was standing and shouts if I catch you - I will kiss you.
So run.............lol
Female: My lips are infected..
Doctor: How many times do you kiss?
Female: Once in a year!
Doctor: They are not infected rather they are rusted!!
World's smallest poem..
Life is big struggle...til wife is with you..
Please God,, Please intimate me 5 minute before dying that I am about to die.
Because I die without formatting my mobile.... It will be a big mess!
Wife: Suddenly gets up at 2 clock night... awakes her husband and asks:
Do you know the date of when you got your job?
Husband: yes, 8th April 2004
Wife: And your best friend's marriage date?
Husband: yes, 12th September 2009
Wife: Our new neighbor's age in our society?
Husband: 4 months
And you sister engagement date?
30gth July
But why are you asking this in mid of night? husband asks angrily..
Wife: Today is my birthday....
A ong silence.....
Sunday, 21 June 2015
Presenting the World's Best Jokes for much better life
Life is much easier when you really do something you are capable of, with a smile on your face. People will be impressed to see your performance and will mistaken you are doing very hard work in your work but you know that you are enjoying while having fun because you are doing what you love to do. Hours pass like minutes and still you have that wish do more. This is called right choice baby.
Quick Jokes and funny stuff do the right thing for you baby so here we are going to help you by having the opportunity to let you read our newest collection of latest jokes.
But first let us aware you the endless benefits of having humor. Here are the major points here due to short of time:
1.) No space for boredom
2.) Liked by everyone
3.) Makes you most lovable person
4.) Health and no disease
5.) Double the energy
6.) Tension, oh place at all
A.) A man moves into a colony where people don't wear clothes. He receives a letter from his mom asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new place. Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a that colony, he cuts a photo in half and sends her the top half.
Later he receives another letter asking him to send a picture to his grandmother. The man cuts another picture in half, but accidentally sends the bottom half of the photo. He is really worried when he realizes that he sent the wrong half, but then remembers how bad his grandmother's eyesight is, and hopes she won't notice.
A few weeks later, he receives a letter from his grandmother. It says... "Thank you for the picture. Change your hair style, it makes your nose look too short!"
After so much research, a man finds a book called "How to be the Man in your house". He goes through it and learns. After reading, he sets the book down stands up and says to his wife "From now onwards, my word is law. You will prepare and have ready a gourmet meal for me each evening on my return from work, you will then run me a bath, was my back and dry me off. We shall then make love the what I want to. Oh,and one more thing, guess who will be dressing me from head to toe in the morning", The wife looked up at him and replied " If I'm right it'll be the fkn undertaker"
B.) A guy walks into a pub and sits down next to a hunk with a dog at his feet.
"Does your dog bite?" "No."
A few minutes later the dog takes a huge chunk out of his leg.
"I thought you said your dog didn't bite!" the man says indignantly.
"That's not my dog."
C.) “Hi, my name is (your name), and you are... gorgeous!"
D.) “You’re like a dictionary. You add meaning to my life."
E.) “Oops, I think I lost my number. Can I have yours?"
F.) “I’m invisible. Can you see me? How about tomorrow night?"
G.) You: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
You: When you fell from Heaven.
H.) Why do we trust the banks with our money, but they don't trust us with their pens?
I.) He who runs in front of a car gets tired, but he who runs behind a car gets exhausted!
j.) you're so short you can sit on the curb and swing your legs.
K.) Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL A HANDSOME INTELLIGENT SENSITIVE MAN?
A: A RUMOR.
L.) What does 0 say to 8?
Ans : Nice belt!
Quick Jokes and funny stuff do the right thing for you baby so here we are going to help you by having the opportunity to let you read our newest collection of latest jokes.
But first let us aware you the endless benefits of having humor. Here are the major points here due to short of time:
1.) No space for boredom
2.) Liked by everyone
3.) Makes you most lovable person
4.) Health and no disease
5.) Double the energy
6.) Tension, oh place at all
A.) A man moves into a colony where people don't wear clothes. He receives a letter from his mom asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new place. Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a that colony, he cuts a photo in half and sends her the top half.
Later he receives another letter asking him to send a picture to his grandmother. The man cuts another picture in half, but accidentally sends the bottom half of the photo. He is really worried when he realizes that he sent the wrong half, but then remembers how bad his grandmother's eyesight is, and hopes she won't notice.
A few weeks later, he receives a letter from his grandmother. It says... "Thank you for the picture. Change your hair style, it makes your nose look too short!"
After so much research, a man finds a book called "How to be the Man in your house". He goes through it and learns. After reading, he sets the book down stands up and says to his wife "From now onwards, my word is law. You will prepare and have ready a gourmet meal for me each evening on my return from work, you will then run me a bath, was my back and dry me off. We shall then make love the what I want to. Oh,and one more thing, guess who will be dressing me from head to toe in the morning", The wife looked up at him and replied " If I'm right it'll be the fkn undertaker"
B.) A guy walks into a pub and sits down next to a hunk with a dog at his feet.
"Does your dog bite?" "No."
A few minutes later the dog takes a huge chunk out of his leg.
"I thought you said your dog didn't bite!" the man says indignantly.
"That's not my dog."
C.) “Hi, my name is (your name), and you are... gorgeous!"
D.) “You’re like a dictionary. You add meaning to my life."
E.) “Oops, I think I lost my number. Can I have yours?"
F.) “I’m invisible. Can you see me? How about tomorrow night?"
G.) You: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
You: When you fell from Heaven.
H.) Why do we trust the banks with our money, but they don't trust us with their pens?
I.) He who runs in front of a car gets tired, but he who runs behind a car gets exhausted!
j.) you're so short you can sit on the curb and swing your legs.
K.) Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL A HANDSOME INTELLIGENT SENSITIVE MAN?
A: A RUMOR.
L.) What does 0 say to 8?
Ans : Nice belt!
Tuesday, 2 June 2015
Day with Lots of Laughs
Filling your day with lots of laughs is the best way to live you life. It lighten up your heart and makes your mood cool. Benefits are endless. You should never fall in love with sadness and the best option is falling in for fun. As this blog is dedicated to providing the entertainment material, so here we share some of latest and most liked jokes ever.
Here we go:
A Bus full of wives going for a picnic crashed with no survivors.
Each Husband cried for a week.
But one husband continued for more than a month.
When asked he replied miserably... " My wife missed the Bus"
Spouse to Husband (on Phone): Dear, Can you talk for 2 seconds? Hope, you are not busy?
Husband: Yes! Why? What is it?
Wife: I have a Good and Bad news!
Husband: I want to hear only Good news, don't have time for the Bad
Wife: Fine, the Good news is that the Air Bags in our new Range Rower worked perfectly FINE! I reached home safe but car....Ok lets leave bad news..
Boyfriend can to his girl friend: Hello. how are you doing my love!
Girl: perfect sweetheart!
Boy: Can you please spare time to meet me during the weekend at my home alone?
Girl: Ops, I am sorry honey, I can't because I am going to attend my cousin's wedding and the next day I'll be too tired. sorry.
Guy: Ok as you wish but I was just planning to take you out for mall, surprise you with an smartphone, then buy you a new dress and the movie and much more..
Girl: Wow, I will be coming and I may even spend the whole weekend there if you want my love.
Guy: What about the wedding?
Girl: Which wedding, I was joking...
Guy: Me too...
Whats the difference between women and batteries?
Batteries have a positive side!
What's the difference between a normal birthday party, and a bulimic birthday party? At the bulimic birthday party, the cake jumps out of the girl instead of the girl jumping out of the cake.
What's black and white and laughing?
The penguin that pushed the first one.
Here we go:
A Bus full of wives going for a picnic crashed with no survivors.
Each Husband cried for a week.
But one husband continued for more than a month.
When asked he replied miserably... " My wife missed the Bus"
Spouse to Husband (on Phone): Dear, Can you talk for 2 seconds? Hope, you are not busy?
Husband: Yes! Why? What is it?
Wife: I have a Good and Bad news!
Husband: I want to hear only Good news, don't have time for the Bad
Wife: Fine, the Good news is that the Air Bags in our new Range Rower worked perfectly FINE! I reached home safe but car....Ok lets leave bad news..
Boyfriend can to his girl friend: Hello. how are you doing my love!
Girl: perfect sweetheart!
Boy: Can you please spare time to meet me during the weekend at my home alone?
Girl: Ops, I am sorry honey, I can't because I am going to attend my cousin's wedding and the next day I'll be too tired. sorry.
Guy: Ok as you wish but I was just planning to take you out for mall, surprise you with an smartphone, then buy you a new dress and the movie and much more..
Girl: Wow, I will be coming and I may even spend the whole weekend there if you want my love.
Guy: What about the wedding?
Girl: Which wedding, I was joking...
Guy: Me too...
Whats the difference between women and batteries?
Batteries have a positive side!
What's the difference between a normal birthday party, and a bulimic birthday party? At the bulimic birthday party, the cake jumps out of the girl instead of the girl jumping out of the cake.
What's black and white and laughing?
The penguin that pushed the first one.
Tuesday, 3 March 2015
Every week we add New Jokes and Quotes
"This funny humorous post is invented to add new quotes and jokes instantly as they come new in the market/mind. You can visit check enjoy it now and visit it again to check upcoming fun. So everybody - Get ready to laugh!"
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If hubby is head of the family then what is wife?
Wife is the neck of the family and can turn head anywhere!
Wife: I will not survive. I will be died!
Husband: I will also be died.
Wife: I have fever and going through big pain but why you will die?
Husband: I can not tolerate so big news of happiness.
In psychology class..
Professor has placed a cake and other side female rat.
Rat gone to cake.
Other time, they places bread and female rat. Than again it goes to bread.
Several times, they put different food items but rat never attracted to female rat.
Professor - It is proved that hunger is bigger than love.
One intelligent student: Sir, Will you please once try to replace the female rat? It may possible that existing female is its wife!!
"Basic research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I am doing." - Werner Von Braun
"Instant gratification takes too long." - Carrie Fisher
"It is difficult to keep quiet if you have nothing to say." - Malcolm Margolin
Man: I am very happy with life. Everything is just perfect. No problems, lot of free time and peace of mind.
Doctor: I got your nerve. You have lack of vitamin SHE!
Boys capability of keep balance should be examined when they are making pegs!
Crazies - They distribute it like they are sharing heaven's syrup! Cheers..
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If hubby is head of the family then what is wife?
Wife is the neck of the family and can turn head anywhere!
Wife: I will not survive. I will be died!
Husband: I will also be died.
Wife: I have fever and going through big pain but why you will die?
Husband: I can not tolerate so big news of happiness.
In psychology class..
Professor has placed a cake and other side female rat.
Rat gone to cake.
Other time, they places bread and female rat. Than again it goes to bread.
Several times, they put different food items but rat never attracted to female rat.
Professor - It is proved that hunger is bigger than love.
One intelligent student: Sir, Will you please once try to replace the female rat? It may possible that existing female is its wife!!
"Basic research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I am doing." - Werner Von Braun
"Instant gratification takes too long." - Carrie Fisher
"It is difficult to keep quiet if you have nothing to say." - Malcolm Margolin
Man: I am very happy with life. Everything is just perfect. No problems, lot of free time and peace of mind.
Doctor: I got your nerve. You have lack of vitamin SHE!
Boys capability of keep balance should be examined when they are making pegs!
Crazies - They distribute it like they are sharing heaven's syrup! Cheers..
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