Childhood is over

Dad: Hey son, your childhood is over!
Son: How?
Dad: Because now you fall asleep on the couch and wake up on the couch.

Another chance

The satirist shoots to kill while the humorist brings his prey back alive and eventually releases him again for another chance.
- Peter De Vries

Made in heaven

Marriages are made in heaven.
But so again, are thunder and lightning.

Practice

Why is it that doctors and lawyers call what they do 'practice'?
It is a mathematical fact that fifty percent of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class.

Buy Barbie

Why do you have to buy Barbie a friend called Ken if she is so popular?
Same happened to Paris Hilton, she didn't get her dog for free!

If Love

Why are there so many players if love is not a game?
Ask Tiger Woods not me!

Jumping from a table

I asked from a dwarf: What are you doing?
Him: Suicide:
Me: But you are jumping from a table!