Light bulb

How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb?
Don't know, no hipster has ever tried. Its way too mainstream!

She screamed

What happened when helen keller fell off a cliff?
She screamed her hands off.

Running start

Yo momma so short, she has to get a running start to get up on the toilet.

Hipster weigh

How much does a hipster weigh.
An instagram!

Dress her

How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her up as an alter boy.

Woman with two black eyes

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, you already told her twice.

Never

Girl: i never liked you.
Boy: Even I never stopped hating you.