Hen-pecked

A husband is a man who when someone tells him he is hen-pecked, answers, yes, but I am pecked by a good hen.

Skeletons fight

Q. Why don't skeletons fight each other?
A. They don't have the guts.

Water and boat

Q. What did the water say to the boat?
A. Nothing, it just waved.

Yeah, right

Teacher: Two positives can't equal a negative
Student: Yeah, right!

For lunch

What did the nuclear physicist have for lunch?
fission chips!

Worker

What did the worker at the rubber band factory say when he lost his job?
!Oh snap!

Dinosaurs

Why can't dinosaurs speak English?
Because they're dead!