A pirate in bar

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel coming out of his pants.

Bartender says, "Hey! Did you know you have a steering wheel coming out of your pants?"

Pirate says, "Aye! It's drivin' me nuts!"

Brown chicken v/s Brown cow

What do you get when a brown chicken has sex with a brown cow?
Brown chicken brown cow (answering in sing-songy 'bow chicca bow now').

Two pairs of trousers

Why do golfers carry two pairs of trousers with them?
In case they had a hole in one.

Uniforms and Helmets

What crawls and wears uniforms and helmets?
Army ants.

On and off

Why was the firefly flashing on and off?
His light was on the blink.

Call cheese

What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese!

Chicken coop

Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
Because if it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan!