Some Craziest Dumbest Statements

When Mr. Romeo tells Miss Juliet that she's fat!

Well, he doesnt always use the internet, but when he does, he shares recipes and inspirational quotes. he is..the most pinteresting man in the world.

Crazy the only reason some people are starving and suffering in the world is because they aren't "so blessed".

Is there any jail just for people that don't break apart kit kats before they eat them.

My friends think that I got Right woman in my life but they don't yet know that she is 'Always Right'!

With a Broken Pencil

Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil?

BECAUSE IT'S POINTLESS!

What did Zero say to number Eight?

sigh

Just insignificant

What am I? Flypaper for freaks?!
I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

Why don't the Maple Leafs drink tea?
Because the Canadiens have all the cups.

Whats the difference between the Leafs and a cigarette machince?
The cigarette machince has PLAYER'S.

Why did the pig go to the casino?
To play the slop machine.

Would like to live with?

A kid was standing in court beside a judge. His parents were getting divorce and the judge asked him which parent he would like to live with.

With your mother?"
"No! she beats me all the time
"Ok,
So with your father.
"No! he beats me every night as well!

"Well if both your parents beat you then who do you want to live with?".

The boy replies "The Toronto Maple Leafs." The judge is puzzled. "why would you want to live with them?" he asks. The boy replies "Because they dont beat anyone!"

Girl After Wine

When a girl takes Alcohol, there are lots of funny dramatic things happen with her. She does lots of daring and amusing tasks. Before and after drink, there is world of difference between her personality. Lets have a look at them:

You really believe that dancing with your arms, rounding your head, and wiggling your back portion while shouting 'Woo-hoo!' is perfectly coolest dance move ever.

You start hugging your friends and expressing you love them more than anyone else.

You get very exited and jump up and down every time a new song plays because 'Oh my God! This is ma favorite song!'

You've suddenly started smoking and be really perfect at first go.

You start yelling at bartender, who you believe cheated you by giving you just lemonade.

It feels like you are in bed but pillow feels like tough floor.

You've suddenly decided that you love to kick someone's back and sincerely believe you could do it.

At you last visit to pee, you realize that you now look more like a homeless hooker than the simple sweet goddess you were just before few hours ago.

You throw your sandals because you believe it's their fault that you're having walking problem.

When a vehicle hits you you have no idea where your mobile and purse are.

You are not obnoxious

You are not obnoxious like so many other people..
SO what I am?
You are obnoxious in a completely different and far worse way.

Snowman with a vampire

Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A. Frostbite.

The airplane

What did Geronimo say when he jumped out of the airplane?
Me!!!

Muscle spasms

How much do you exercise?
If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all!

A mole and an eagle

Q: What do a mole and an eagle have in common?
A: They both live underground, apart from the eagle.

Lift up

Why does a flamingo lift up one leg?
Because if he lifted both, he would fall over!

A pirate in bar

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel coming out of his pants.

Bartender says, "Hey! Did you know you have a steering wheel coming out of your pants?"

Pirate says, "Aye! It's drivin' me nuts!"

On and off

Why was the firefly flashing on and off?
His light was on the blink.

Money in freezer

Why did the blonde put her money in the freezer?
As she wanted cold hard cash!

Not long enough

A couple are trying to set up a new password for their a/c.
The husband puts, "My that" and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."

For lunch

What did the nuclear physicist have for lunch?
fission chips!

A tick and a lawyer

What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer?
A tick falls off of you when you die.

A short movie

What do you call a short movie that features a water fowl?
A duck-umentary

After a bath

What do bunnies use to dry themselves after a bath?
A hare-dryer

Take what

IRS: We’ve got what it takes to take what you have got.