New New Jokes

Here we come again with new new jokes to let you smile more, enjoy more and share more laughter for good day and goo life.


Wife joins English speaking class and after few days:
Wife to husband: Welcome home darling.
Husband: Thank you, but I am so tired today.
Wife: Ok, No probs, 'REST IN PEACE' :(


In marriage, no matters how many VIP comes..
The most important person is who owns the Key of car in which alcohol is stored.


Welding and wedding - what s ye difference between both?
In welding, first it sparks than things stick forever
but
In marriage, it is opposite. Here first you stick than lifetime it sparks.. :)

When there is no trust in relationship and no internet in smartphone....than...
people start playing Games..

Friend, please tell me - a good girl to marry.
Yes, i know a girl of B Com
Don worry about COM, but she must be married and smart!

Mom: Tomorrow, girl side people are coming to final
Boy: Mom, but our thinking is not matching..
Mom: So what, even our thinking is not matched with you, but still you are with us from last 30 years!!

Your feeling and confusion when guest offer you some money and your parents stop you!


Don't try to understand women.
Only women can understand women and...
they hate each others.

Mother: What should I do. Wherever I keep my money, my son steals. I am clueless.!
Me: Idea, Just keep it safe in his books. e never touches them.

How to make your wife satisfy & happy . . . .!

Do you think it is difficult, not really, but you just need to be:

1. a friend
2. a father
3. a man
4. a chef
5. an electrician
6. a companion
7. a lover
8. a brother
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a psychiatrist
13. a healer
14. a good listener
15. an organizer
16. a good father
17. Tolerant
18. Prudent
19. Ambitious
20. Capable
21. Courageous
22. Determined
23. True
24. Dependable
25. Passionate
26. Compassionate
27. Very clean
28. a decorator
29. a stylist
30. a charmer
31. a gynecologist
32. a psychologist
33. a bug exterminator
34. Sympathetic
35. Athletic
36. Warm
37. Attentive
38. Gallant
39. Intelligent
40. Funny
41. Creative
42. Tender
43. Strong
44. Understanding


AND, WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

45. Give her compliments frequently
46. Love shopping
47. Be honest
48. Be very rich
49. Never stress her
50. Never look at other women!

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

51. Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. Give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. Give her lots of space

AND, VERY IMPORTANT:

54. Never to forget:

* birthdays
* anniversaries
* her favorite color
* her favorite flower
* her favorite gem
* her favorite fragrance
* her favorite memories
* her favorite holidays
* her favorite friends
* her favorite vacation destinations
* her favorite beverage
* her favorite food
* her favorite restaurant
* any arrangements she makes
---------------------
And Now,

HOW TO MAKE HUSBAND HAPPY

Just leave him alone or with his friends.....with his TV remote and mobile phone...and his favourite drink.....And he'll be happiest person on the earth..

New Series of Latest Jokes

Time continues so our efforts of adding good jokes too. Here presenting the new series of very funny/fresh jokes to let you experience again that uncontrollable laughter in very short span of time. Humor exists in every human being but it needs to be dragged out and our contents do the same. They awaken your inner crazy kid and when you go through them, you never know when you dip into the ocean of fun.

Here we go:

Do wrong positions in make our result an ugly baby?
Ask your parents!

I always keep my dream alive so whenever it alarms - I press the snooze buttons.

If things goes too well and smoothly, I doubt there must be something wrong.

I always forget that I really have such an terrible memory.

A new research reveals that an average person spends 10 hours a week. Me: Do they mean every day?

There is an app on my phone which makes you look so fatty, it is camera!

Did you know where my dog went when it loses its tail?
Retail store

I am really apologies not to come at your party tonight because I really have to get up early in tomorrow afternoon!

You know Why are hurricanes named after women?
Because they come wet and wild and they leave with your house and your car.

At the airport they asked me if anybody I didn’t know gave me anything. Even the people I know don’t give me anything. (George Wallace)

Animals may be our friends. But they won’t pick you up at the airport. (Bobcat Goldthwait)