Here we come again with new new jokes to let you smile more, enjoy more and share more laughter for good day and goo life.
Wife joins English speaking class and after few days:
Wife to husband: Welcome home darling.
Husband: Thank you, but I am so tired today.
Wife: Ok, No probs, 'REST IN PEACE' :(
In marriage, no matters how many VIP comes..
The most important person is who owns the Key of car in which alcohol is stored.
Welding and wedding - what s ye difference between both?
In welding, first it sparks than things stick forever
but
In marriage, it is opposite. Here first you stick than lifetime it sparks.. :)
When there is no trust in relationship and no internet in smartphone....than...
people start playing Games..
Friend, please tell me - a good girl to marry.
Yes, i know a girl of B Com
Don worry about COM, but she must be married and smart!
Mom: Tomorrow, girl side people are coming to final
Boy: Mom, but our thinking is not matching..
Mom: So what, even our thinking is not matched with you, but still you are with us from last 30 years!!
Your feeling and confusion when guest offer you some money and your parents stop you!
Don't try to understand women.
Only women can understand women and...
they hate each others.
Mother: What should I do. Wherever I keep my money, my son steals. I am clueless.!
Me: Idea, Just keep it safe in his books. e never touches them.
How to make your wife satisfy & happy . . . .!
Do you think it is difficult, not really, but you just need to be:
1. a friend
2. a father
3. a man
4. a chef
5. an electrician
6. a companion
7. a lover
8. a brother
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a psychiatrist
13. a healer
14. a good listener
15. an organizer
16. a good father
17. Tolerant
18. Prudent
19. Ambitious
20. Capable
21. Courageous
22. Determined
23. True
24. Dependable
25. Passionate
26. Compassionate
27. Very clean
28. a decorator
29. a stylist
30. a charmer
31. a gynecologist
32. a psychologist
33. a bug exterminator
34. Sympathetic
35. Athletic
36. Warm
37. Attentive
38. Gallant
39. Intelligent
40. Funny
41. Creative
42. Tender
43. Strong
44. Understanding
AND, WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. Give her compliments frequently
46. Love shopping
47. Be honest
48. Be very rich
49. Never stress her
50. Never look at other women!
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
51. Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. Give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. Give her lots of space
AND, VERY IMPORTANT:
54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* her favorite color
* her favorite flower
* her favorite gem
* her favorite fragrance
* her favorite memories
* her favorite holidays
* her favorite friends
* her favorite vacation destinations
* her favorite beverage
* her favorite food
* her favorite restaurant
* any arrangements she makes
---------------------
And Now,
HOW TO MAKE HUSBAND HAPPY
Just leave him alone or with his friends.....with his TV remote and mobile phone...and his favourite drink.....And he'll be happiest person on the earth..
Wednesday, 16 December 2015
Monday, 16 November 2015
New Series of Latest Jokes
Time continues so our efforts of adding good jokes too. Here presenting the new series of very funny/fresh jokes to let you experience again that uncontrollable laughter in very short span of time. Humor exists in every human being but it needs to be dragged out and our contents do the same. They awaken your inner crazy kid and when you go through them, you never know when you dip into the ocean of fun.
Here we go:
Do wrong positions in make our result an ugly baby?
Ask your parents!
I always keep my dream alive so whenever it alarms - I press the snooze buttons.
If things goes too well and smoothly, I doubt there must be something wrong.
I always forget that I really have such an terrible memory.
A new research reveals that an average person spends 10 hours a week. Me: Do they mean every day?
There is an app on my phone which makes you look so fatty, it is camera!
Did you know where my dog went when it loses its tail?
Retail store
I am really apologies not to come at your party tonight because I really have to get up early in tomorrow afternoon!
You know Why are hurricanes named after women?
Because they come wet and wild and they leave with your house and your car.
At the airport they asked me if anybody I didn’t know gave me anything. Even the people I know don’t give me anything. (George Wallace)
Animals may be our friends. But they won’t pick you up at the airport. (Bobcat Goldthwait)
Here we go:
Do wrong positions in make our result an ugly baby?
Ask your parents!
I always keep my dream alive so whenever it alarms - I press the snooze buttons.
If things goes too well and smoothly, I doubt there must be something wrong.
I always forget that I really have such an terrible memory.
A new research reveals that an average person spends 10 hours a week. Me: Do they mean every day?
There is an app on my phone which makes you look so fatty, it is camera!
Did you know where my dog went when it loses its tail?
Retail store
I am really apologies not to come at your party tonight because I really have to get up early in tomorrow afternoon!
You know Why are hurricanes named after women?
Because they come wet and wild and they leave with your house and your car.
At the airport they asked me if anybody I didn’t know gave me anything. Even the people I know don’t give me anything. (George Wallace)
Animals may be our friends. But they won’t pick you up at the airport. (Bobcat Goldthwait)
Sunday, 8 November 2015
11 Crazy Jokes on Drinkers
In quest of find the good jokes and after doing lot of research, finally we are here to release 11 funny jokes to point out on drinkers that you can always share to change the mood.
Here you go:
Once a cow swallows a mobile and she goes crazy. Whenever mobile rings, she starts running like hell.
Finally a smart man suggested that better to take that cow out of coverage area.. Intelligent..
Who say drinkers are not in their senses.?
Two man were full after having 5 pags and walking on rail track..
One said: I never walked so many stairs in my life.
Second said: That is ok and side rods are so down..
If social media were school, I would get certificate for full attendance.
Once a drunker dies due to excess intake of alcohol.
See his dedication, when he was about to die, he stated that Whiskey was strong but his lever was very weak!
Man: Ok, it you offer a donkey a glass of water and a glass of wine, what he will prefer?
Friend: Water, because he is donkey!
Police stop a man and ask: where are you going at 1:00 clock in night?
Man: I am going to attend a lecture on side effects of drinking.
Police: So late, who gonna give you lecture?
Man: My wife.
Man: Knocks at his door.
Wife opens and he asks his wife: who are you?
Man: Alcohol makes you forget every tension.
Drinker donates his eyes.
Doctors asks that you want to say anything?
Man: Yes, who will use just ask him that eyes open after 2 drinks.
Man to waiter: What is hottest thing you have?
Waiter: Noddles
Man:" More Hot
Waiter: Soup
Man: More hot
Waiter Boiled water
Man: More hot
Waiter: Fire
Man: Ok get it, I need to burn my cigarette.
Here you go:
Once a cow swallows a mobile and she goes crazy. Whenever mobile rings, she starts running like hell.
Finally a smart man suggested that better to take that cow out of coverage area.. Intelligent..
Who say drinkers are not in their senses.?
Two man were full after having 5 pags and walking on rail track..
One said: I never walked so many stairs in my life.
Second said: That is ok and side rods are so down..
If social media were school, I would get certificate for full attendance.
Once a drunker dies due to excess intake of alcohol.
See his dedication, when he was about to die, he stated that Whiskey was strong but his lever was very weak!
Man: Ok, it you offer a donkey a glass of water and a glass of wine, what he will prefer?
Friend: Water, because he is donkey!
Police stop a man and ask: where are you going at 1:00 clock in night?
Man: I am going to attend a lecture on side effects of drinking.
Police: So late, who gonna give you lecture?
Man: My wife.
Man: Knocks at his door.
Wife opens and he asks his wife: who are you?
Man: Alcohol makes you forget every tension.
Drinker donates his eyes.
Doctors asks that you want to say anything?
Man: Yes, who will use just ask him that eyes open after 2 drinks.
Man to waiter: What is hottest thing you have?
Waiter: Noddles
Man:" More Hot
Waiter: Soup
Man: More hot
Waiter Boiled water
Man: More hot
Waiter: Fire
Man: Ok get it, I need to burn my cigarette.
Thursday, 17 September 2015
Your answers to funny jokes queries
People often search for jokes but many times they do not find what they actually search for, but this page and even this whole blog is made to serve you with the world's best jokes with newest updates, so just relax and enjoy!
Doctor: Do get up early in the morning and exercise.. This is the best mantra mantra for long life.
Man: But see that Chicken, gets up very early morning but in the evening - finish...
---
Man to Friend: I want to give my girlfriend a good gift.
Friend: Diamond Ring?
Man: Nope, something which she has never wear earlier..
Friend: Gents Underwear...
---
Boyfriend playing with her girl hairs and fainted..
When he opened his eyes after s20 minutes..
He requested hi girlfriend..Please have regular bath..
---
2 women sentenced for 20 years in one imprison.
After their freedom, they come out of prison and spoke one another...
Ok bye, rest of the talks we will have on call.
---
Yesterday, I got invitation card of my Ex-Girlfriend!
Felt little pain....
Then made my mind to go...
Because love has it own place and love for food has its own...
----
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Afur
Afur who?
I fur got my joke!
----
Why are hurricanes named after women?
Because they come wet and wild and they leave with your house and your car..
---
Q. How do you make seven an even number?
A. Simple, just take the s out!
Doctor: Do get up early in the morning and exercise.. This is the best mantra mantra for long life.
Man: But see that Chicken, gets up very early morning but in the evening - finish...
---
Man to Friend: I want to give my girlfriend a good gift.
Friend: Diamond Ring?
Man: Nope, something which she has never wear earlier..
Friend: Gents Underwear...
---
Boyfriend playing with her girl hairs and fainted..
When he opened his eyes after s20 minutes..
He requested hi girlfriend..Please have regular bath..
---
2 women sentenced for 20 years in one imprison.
After their freedom, they come out of prison and spoke one another...
Ok bye, rest of the talks we will have on call.
---
Yesterday, I got invitation card of my Ex-Girlfriend!
Felt little pain....
Then made my mind to go...
Because love has it own place and love for food has its own...
----
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Afur
Afur who?
I fur got my joke!
----
Why are hurricanes named after women?
Because they come wet and wild and they leave with your house and your car..
---
Q. How do you make seven an even number?
A. Simple, just take the s out!
Saturday, 22 August 2015
Jokes and Funny Lines You Can't Afford to Miss
Often, in the tight schedule of daily, we skip the laughter but it is not good. SO here we come with good jokes to be read in short time. So enjoy and spread. Hurray!
I was on the subway, sitting on a newspaper, and a guy comes over and asks ‘Are you reading that?" I didn’t know what to say. So I said yes. I stood up, turned the page, and sat down again. (David Brenner).
These impossible women! How do they get around us! The poet was right: can’t live with them, or without them! (Aristophanes)
I went to the psychiatrist, and he says "You're crazy " I tell him I want a second opinion. He says, ‘Okay, you're ugly too!" (Rodney Dangerfield)
My sister was with two men in one night. She could hardly walk after that. Can you imagine? Two dinners! (Sarah Silverman)
A comedian is sitting at the bar of a comedy club late one night when a beautiuful woman comes up to him and says "I saw you perform tonight, and you’re the funniest guy I’ve ever seen. I want to take you home and give you the hottest night you’re ever had." The comedian looks at her and says, "Did you see the first show or the second show?"
How are women and tornadoes alike?
They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave.
There was a guy who was struggling to decide what to wear to go to a fancy costume party... Then he had a bright idea. When the host answered the door, he found the guy standing there with no shirt and no socks on. "What the hell are you supposed to be?" asked the host. "A premature ejaculation," said the man. "I just came in my pants!"
I was on the subway, sitting on a newspaper, and a guy comes over and asks ‘Are you reading that?" I didn’t know what to say. So I said yes. I stood up, turned the page, and sat down again. (David Brenner).
These impossible women! How do they get around us! The poet was right: can’t live with them, or without them! (Aristophanes)
I went to the psychiatrist, and he says "You're crazy " I tell him I want a second opinion. He says, ‘Okay, you're ugly too!" (Rodney Dangerfield)
My sister was with two men in one night. She could hardly walk after that. Can you imagine? Two dinners! (Sarah Silverman)
A comedian is sitting at the bar of a comedy club late one night when a beautiuful woman comes up to him and says "I saw you perform tonight, and you’re the funniest guy I’ve ever seen. I want to take you home and give you the hottest night you’re ever had." The comedian looks at her and says, "Did you see the first show or the second show?"
How are women and tornadoes alike?
They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave.
There was a guy who was struggling to decide what to wear to go to a fancy costume party... Then he had a bright idea. When the host answered the door, he found the guy standing there with no shirt and no socks on. "What the hell are you supposed to be?" asked the host. "A premature ejaculation," said the man. "I just came in my pants!"
Friday, 7 August 2015
9 Super Light Jokes
Life is all about laughing as much as possible, but you must need a reason to have a good laugh! Don't worry, here are top 9 light hilarious funny jokes to help in doing it. Do share them further to continue the wave of fun keep surrounding the world!
1. Wife: I can fight the whole world for you!
Husband: All the the time, you keep on fighting with me!
Wife: The lovely price, you are my whole world! :)
2. Man to 2 boys: You both look good, what is your relation?
Guy: We have very far relation?
Man: How?
Guy: He is my younger brother.
Man: So how, he is very close relative..
Guy: No, there is six more brother before him!
3. You look so beautiful in your profile pic.
Girl: I am good designer.
4. Man: Wife is missing!
Officer: Are you blind. It is post office, just go to police station.
Man: Ops, sorry, I got mad due to excess happiness!
5. I never made a mistake, I think I did it once but I was wrong!
6. Man: I am not getting married:
Priest: You can not do it, there is lot of happiness written in your fate!
7. Man: How is my son in studies?
Teacher: He is great, it feels like the invention of 0 is just for him!
8. Friend: Where are you going?
Me: Just washroom to enlighten myself. It is I will not
9. Teacher: Again, you have not did your homework, tell, what punishment should I give you?
Guy: That girl has not also did it, lock us both in bathroom!
1. Wife: I can fight the whole world for you!
Husband: All the the time, you keep on fighting with me!
Wife: The lovely price, you are my whole world! :)
2. Man to 2 boys: You both look good, what is your relation?
Guy: We have very far relation?
Man: How?
Guy: He is my younger brother.
Man: So how, he is very close relative..
Guy: No, there is six more brother before him!
3. You look so beautiful in your profile pic.
Girl: I am good designer.
4. Man: Wife is missing!
Officer: Are you blind. It is post office, just go to police station.
Man: Ops, sorry, I got mad due to excess happiness!
5. I never made a mistake, I think I did it once but I was wrong!
6. Man: I am not getting married:
Priest: You can not do it, there is lot of happiness written in your fate!
7. Man: How is my son in studies?
Teacher: He is great, it feels like the invention of 0 is just for him!
8. Friend: Where are you going?
Me: Just washroom to enlighten myself. It is I will not
9. Teacher: Again, you have not did your homework, tell, what punishment should I give you?
Guy: That girl has not also did it, lock us both in bathroom!
Wednesday, 22 July 2015
Best Time Pass Jokes
We come here again with best ever time pass jokes to make sure that your smile never stops.
Here we go...
Girl: Dad, I want to share one important thing with you.
Dad: Ok, tell me.
Girl: I am in love with a guy. He lives in U.S.A.
Dad: But where you met?
Girl: We met on a dating website.. become friend through social media, he proposed me on Skype..
then we chatted a lot on messaging app..
Father: oh really. Then you both can get married on twitter... go on honeymoon on travel site, get kids through shopping site, and receive them through gmail..
And moreover.....if you further feel your decision is wrong... sell it reseller website...
Husband: Shouts and yells ay wife.. I am calling you from last one hour.. Why do not you pick the call?
Wife: I was dancing on ring tone.
One fat man reads the newspaper ans notices the advertisement of - Fat Reduce Program!
He call and girls replies: Ok.. Get ready in the morning at 5 AM.
Morning, his door bell rings and he opens the door. A pleases to see a beautiful girl which jogging suit.
The girl asks him if you want to kiss me - catch me and she runs.
The fat guy runs after her..
This happens for a week and he reduces his weight by 5.0 kgs.
He again participates in 10.0 kg weight reduce program.
The next morning very beautiful girls knocks the door and asks him if if wants a hug and kiss, catch.
Again, this goes for a week and he successfully reduces 10.0 kgs.
Now he become greedy and participates in 20.0 kgs weight reduce program.
The next morning....
The door bell gets ring and he surprise to see a huge black man was standing and shouts if I catch you - I will kiss you.
So run.............lol
Female: My lips are infected..
Doctor: How many times do you kiss?
Female: Once in a year!
Doctor: They are not infected rather they are rusted!!
World's smallest poem..
Life is big struggle...til wife is with you..
Please God,, Please intimate me 5 minute before dying that I am about to die.
Because I die without formatting my mobile.... It will be a big mess!
Wife: Suddenly gets up at 2 clock night... awakes her husband and asks:
Do you know the date of when you got your job?
Husband: yes, 8th April 2004
Wife: And your best friend's marriage date?
Husband: yes, 12th September 2009
Wife: Our new neighbor's age in our society?
Husband: 4 months
And you sister engagement date?
30gth July
But why are you asking this in mid of night? husband asks angrily..
Wife: Today is my birthday....
A ong silence.....
Here we go...
Girl: Dad, I want to share one important thing with you.
Dad: Ok, tell me.
Girl: I am in love with a guy. He lives in U.S.A.
Dad: But where you met?
Girl: We met on a dating website.. become friend through social media, he proposed me on Skype..
then we chatted a lot on messaging app..
Father: oh really. Then you both can get married on twitter... go on honeymoon on travel site, get kids through shopping site, and receive them through gmail..
And moreover.....if you further feel your decision is wrong... sell it reseller website...
Husband: Shouts and yells ay wife.. I am calling you from last one hour.. Why do not you pick the call?
Wife: I was dancing on ring tone.
One fat man reads the newspaper ans notices the advertisement of - Fat Reduce Program!
He call and girls replies: Ok.. Get ready in the morning at 5 AM.
Morning, his door bell rings and he opens the door. A pleases to see a beautiful girl which jogging suit.
The girl asks him if you want to kiss me - catch me and she runs.
The fat guy runs after her..
This happens for a week and he reduces his weight by 5.0 kgs.
He again participates in 10.0 kg weight reduce program.
The next morning very beautiful girls knocks the door and asks him if if wants a hug and kiss, catch.
Again, this goes for a week and he successfully reduces 10.0 kgs.
Now he become greedy and participates in 20.0 kgs weight reduce program.
The next morning....
The door bell gets ring and he surprise to see a huge black man was standing and shouts if I catch you - I will kiss you.
So run.............lol
Female: My lips are infected..
Doctor: How many times do you kiss?
Female: Once in a year!
Doctor: They are not infected rather they are rusted!!
World's smallest poem..
Life is big struggle...til wife is with you..
Please God,, Please intimate me 5 minute before dying that I am about to die.
Because I die without formatting my mobile.... It will be a big mess!
Wife: Suddenly gets up at 2 clock night... awakes her husband and asks:
Do you know the date of when you got your job?
Husband: yes, 8th April 2004
Wife: And your best friend's marriage date?
Husband: yes, 12th September 2009
Wife: Our new neighbor's age in our society?
Husband: 4 months
And you sister engagement date?
30gth July
But why are you asking this in mid of night? husband asks angrily..
Wife: Today is my birthday....
A ong silence.....
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