Liking Most

Boy: What you like most?
Girl: Hmm..
Boy: Water?
Girl: Yes..
Boy: Thanks for liking 70% of me!

Bartender and Sandwich.

What did the bartender say to a Sandwich.
Sorry we don't serve food in here!

Good Neighbor

Q: Symptoms of Good neighbor?
A: If they doesn't put a password on their Wi-Fi.

All Men are Same

The woman who invented the line, "All men are the same." was a chinese woman who lost her husband in a crowd in China.

Preacher's Sermon

Once a sweet little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"

I would do anything

Leena comes to professor's office after school hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly & says "I would do anything to pass this exam."

She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes.

"I mean..." she whispers, "...I would do...anything!"

He returns her gaze. "Anything?"

"Yes, anything!"

His voice turns to a whisper. "Go and...study!."

How Old Are You

A Female walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?"
"Well, honey, I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whisky a week, eat fatty foods and never exercise."
"That's amazing, "the woman said. "How old are you?"
"Twenty-Two"