I Love Doing Everything

You know, I love doing everything. Some I love to be around, some I love to avoid, and others I would love to punch in the face.

Got a new girlfriend

Son: Hi dad! I got a new girlfriend.
Dad: Great son, is she hot?
Son: Hell yeah!

Girl: Hi Dad! I got a boyfriend!
Dad: *In full anger - Loading shotgun*

Planning to throw a party

I am planning to throw a party with fake alcohol and see how many morons act wasted.

Success is like

Success is like pregnancy, everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you got f.c.k.d. to achieve it.

Girl's point of view

She told me to see things from a girl's point of view, so I looked out the kitchen window.

I feel like

When they Have a smoke in a restaurant.. I feel like they are peeing in a pool. So disgusting!

Free things are cool

When life gives you lemons, take them. Free things are cool.