Broke Yours

Girl while having shower with her boyfriend looks down and asks: Can I touch it?
Boys replies: Nope, you already broke yours off!

Power Tie

"What's black and white and red all over? Obama in a power tie."

Red Nose

Teacher: Why is your nose red?
Jackie: I smelled a b-rose.
Teacher: But there is no "b" in rose.
Jackie: There was in this one!

Tickling me

If you tickle me than I am not responsible for what happens to your life.

Blood Boil

Do you know what really makes my blood boil?
Crematoriums

How many potatoes

I was having dinner with my boss and his spouse and she said to me, "How many potatoes would you like Tim?".
I said "Ooh, I'll just have one please".
She said "It's OK, you don't have to be polite"
"Alright" I said "I'll just have one then, you stupid cow"

Brain is missing

Haha I am a virus and I am going to enter into your brain..
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Sorry I have to leave, I can't find it.