My Weight

According to BMI chart, my weight is fine. I am just too short.

Cut their pizza

How do Maxicans cut their pizza?
Little Caesars

Much younger

Short People Problem:
Hey, how old are you... Really? You look so much younger.

In Motion

Wine gives a man nothing it only puts in motion what had been locked up in frost.

Forced to live

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

Safe Place

I'm going to be around until the Atomic Energy Commission finds a safe place to bury my liver.
- Phil Harris

Having Mastery

I am not dumb, it's just that I have a mastery over useless information.