I'm Gullible

Hey, why are you so cross with your mother today?
Because she told me I'm gullible... and I believed her!

Get ready

Her: Do you know it takes you more than a hour to get ready.
Him: But you aren't as cute as you think you are.

Great slogan

"Don't kid yourself" would be a great slogan for a condom company.

Doctor

What did 1 doctor say to another?
We are both Doctor!

Like you

Now, I am going to punch you in the mouth.. With my mouth. Softly.. because I like you..

Childhood is over

Dad: Hey son, your childhood is over!
Son: How?
Dad: Because now you fall asleep on the couch and wake up on the couch.

Another chance

The satirist shoots to kill while the humorist brings his prey back alive and eventually releases him again for another chance.
- Peter De Vries